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” I continued. “So, in order to heal from that pain, I had to start really loving myself. Loving myself meant I had to embrace every part of myself. Loving myself meant that I could step back from the situation and see how pathetic and sad my ex was because he felt so driven by his sexuality and so ashamed of it that he had to hurt, use, manipulate, degrade, humiliate, and deceive people for his sexual satisfaction and that that had nothing to do with me, my value as a lover, or my ability to make sound choices in a partner. It was then that I decided that I was not going lie about my sexuality ever again. Never again would I be ashamed of anything I fantasized about, desired, or got aroused by. I was not going to be victim of the same beliefs that made him into a narcissist and sociopath; I was not going to be a slave to a society that created monsters like him because they felt like they had to deny their sexuality. When I got to that point in my life, Father, I released all. I continued to stare at her when she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She bent over on the toilet to reach for her towel and gave me an excellent rear view of her body. Again my head was spinning I just wanted to go up behind her and shove my cock into her pussy and fuck the hell out of her. After her shower things began to subside, my cock returned to its normal size but the desire to fuck her didn’t go away. I stayed at her house with her mom rest of the day. Around late afternoon her mother was on the computer and was trying to get the sound to work. I volunteered my help by saying I knew how to fix her problem. I went over to the computer and sat down as Brandy’s mom offered me something cold to drink. As I opened window after window trying to figure out the problem Brandy came over and stood by my side. Her pregnant belly was pressing against my shoulder and her arm had swung over to my other shoulder. I looked up at her and seen she was smiling at me, I then.
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